is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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