You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
