At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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