I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
