White coat. Heels.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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