hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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