I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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