I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
