I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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