I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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