Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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