and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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