FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
