my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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