We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize