forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
