I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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