It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
