Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
