I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
