and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
