God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
