my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I skipped work to stalk him.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
