Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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