my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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