Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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