This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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