I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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