stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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