i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
