Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
