did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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