Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
