I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
