I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
