dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
People in love make me want to vomit
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
