Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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