apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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