My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
