he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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