I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
