I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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