just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
