uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
