could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found your dick twin last night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
