I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
