You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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