dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
