Can i not drive my cunt home
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
