i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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