then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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