Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
