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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Rumble strips road head = magical
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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