You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
