2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
