East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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