i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I intend to get homeless drunk
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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