just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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