He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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