He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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