i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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