WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
