i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
